So it’s here. My last day of employment and the start of the exciting laptop-living freelance life. But as I sit here alone at 8.30am on my last day in the office, I can’t help to think what I’m leaving behind.
Making decisions can be hard right? Hundreds of basic choices a day of what clothes to wear, where to eat, what to eat are done almost subconsciously without even realising your doing it, but others need a little more thought. Getting married, getting divorced, buying a house, having children and quitting your job. We should of course pause before making any of these life changing decisions and not do anything hurried that could later be deemed a mistake, and we also need to ensure these new plans meet our values and goals in life such as more family time, health and contribution.
With a head full of thoughts and a heart full of emotions, we constantly battle with which one to listen to, which one to lead us onto the next step of our lives. We all have the crazy monkey that resides in our heads, debating our insane ideas but your mind is the one that does the analysis, weighs up the pro’s and con’s and as it fears change, it often tells you to stay within your comfort zone.
Your heart on the other hand is where your instinctiveness lies, your sixth sense, the soft little voice that guides you, often drowned out by the crazy monkey. Listening to your heart can take some practice and making decisions based on this will take time to get used to, but the heart is where your true-self lies, your higher self and until you learn to listen to that quiet voice, your minds’ fears could potentially limit your potential.
If you’ve taken the steps to make an adjustment to your life, then the choice itself should be evident. No regrets, no second-guessing, no looking backwards, living in the past will not help you moving forward. Set your sights onwards to the new future that lies ahead of you and embrace it.
So with it being my last day in work today, I’m not feeling as emotional as I thought I would be, or usually am. I’m definitely a people person so will miss the team but I guess as I’ve worked from home the last three years and only gone up to the office a few times a month, I’m use to the work isolation. Maybe driving out of the gate for the last time this afternoon will get me.
I know what I’m leaving behind. Private health care, pension contributions, security and it’ll be my last ever pay cheque today, but there’s also no more staying away from my home, leaving the kids upset knowing we’re not seeing each other for the next few days. No more hotel living with an empty bed or leaving the Hubby to do the things I’m missing like parent’s evenings, play dates, cinema trips. And also no more working in 4” heels or driving 1000 miles a month – although the Starbucks stops on the M4 with my alter ego names will be missed!
I’ve done this corporate living job in this industry for 20 years, since the day after I left school, more than half my life by now and know it inside out. So now that I’m giving that all up, the thing I’ve done almost everyday for two-decades, what’s left? Making this potentially crazy decision to quit it all and go freelance has made me feel invincible, liberated, unshackled and the thought of waking up Monday morning and starting the new freelance media revised life excites me.
We all have dreams, and ambitions and goals in life we want to achieve but only we can make this happen, it will not be handed to you. The next chapter is about to start. This one will be all about my dreams and plans, spending more time with my family, rediscovering my passion and my true essence, and living life to the fullest with nothing holding me back. The book’s not fully written yet and I have no idea how it ends, but I’m damn sure it’ll be a good read from this point on.
2 thoughts on “Everything that remains”